Bouquets and Barbs
by BarkingatJim
Summary: Artie is back from Washington and he has a question for Jim which causes some fall-out.
**Bouquets and Barbs**

By Tripidydoodah

This scene occurred to me while writing TNOT Absentee Agent but I didn't think it belonged in the main story. It's also something I've wanted to tackle, ever since I first saw TNOT Camera. (I hope I have the names right as not all of them were in the cast list).

Artemus Gordon and James West were lounging at opposite ends of the sofa, in the varnish carriage. Each had a half-drunk cup of coffee in their hand and was totally relaxed. That is, until Artie raised a question that had been on his mind ever since he got back.

"How did you get on with the agents Richmond sent you, while I was in Washington?"

"I've been meaning to talk to you about that," Jim said, sitting upright and setting his cup down on the table. "I understand it was your idea to lumber me with Bosley Cranston."

"Yeah, well I knew he'd be a great asset. I also knew you'd underestimate him. You have a way of seeing only what's on the surface."

"I do not," Jim replied, insulted.

"Aw come on, Jim, Bosley told me all about it. At least you recognised his worth at the end. Then you went and ruined it all by making a snap judgement about the Gaffney sisters."

"It wasn't only me. Jeremy acted just the same."

"Don't blame it on Jer, he was probably just following your lead. Anyway we're discussing your behaviour, not his."

"There's nothing to discuss," Jim said, taking an agitated sip of coffee and nearly breaking the cup on his teeth, as he had forgotten to unclench his jaw. "Damn it!" he said, as scalding coffee dribbled onto his cravat.

"Be careful with that cup, Jim," Artie said. "It's one of a set."

Jim replaced the cup on the table and swiftly made his way to the galley to deal with the stain. Artie grinned. He really shouldn't have goaded Jim like that but sometimes he felt his partner needed it. Cranston was so in awe of Jim that he had tried to defend him but Artie had got at most of the truth of how Jim had treated him. It didn't matter that they had appreciated his talents, in the end, they should have treated him with more respect to start with.

In the galley, Jim scrubbed violently at his cravat with a wet cloth, scowling, while imagining he was ramming it into Artie's mouth. _That would wipe the pompous expression off his face. How dare he criticise my behaviour, especially when I didn't do anything wrong?_ The stain dealt with, Jim calmed down a little and went to his stateroom to fetch a fresh cravat. While he was there, he sat on the bed and thought over his dealings with Cranston.

The man had appeared to be a bumbling buffoon when they first met. He'd set a train of events in motion that had betrayed Jim's presence to the man he was following, and subsequently led to his death, before Jim could get the information out of him that he needed. He had to admit though that he and Jeremy would never have broken the case without Cranston's photographic memory. But then the idiot had broken his glasses right at a critical moment. He had turned out to be an expert in karate though and used it to capture Gideon Stix.

Now he thought about it, Jim realised that Cranston probably knew they were lying when he and Jeremy had said they couldn't come to dinner with him and his lady friends. Why else would he have asked if they would change their minds, when they'd told him they were waiting for a message from Richmond? It suddenly occurred to Jim that Cranston wouldn't have believed his idol to be so shallow, so probably thought they'd changed their minds about wanting to dine with him. He groaned and struck himself on the forehead with the palm of his hand. He would never have insulted him like that. _No, but you berated him and made fun of him. Wasn't that insulting?_

Jim walked slowly back to the varnish carriage.

"Artie, you're absolutely right," he said. "My behaviour toward Cranston was pretty bad. Even though I did thank him for his help in the end, and we told him we couldn't have succeeded without him."

"Jim, you don't need to justify yourself to me," Artie said.

"The sad thing is, it wouldn't have happened if you'd been here. I'm not blaming Jeremy," he added hastily, "but you always bring out the best in me and you would have fought Cranston's corner for him. Don't leave me again, will you?"

"I'll do my best," Artie said, "but I think, on the whole, you can get by without me. You can trust Jim West. I always do." Artie laughed.

"What's so funny?" Jim asked, amiably. He was still a little overwhelmed by his partner's faith in him.

"While you were gone I was trying to think of a way to give you a taste of your own medicine to make you realise the error of your ways. Just as well you came through, because I couldn't think of a damned thing."

Jim looked shocked. "I can't believe you were thinking of doing that," he said. "Still, you have my permission to do what you have to, if you ever see me behave badly. And now there's something _**I**_ have to do."

"O, what's that?" Artie asked.

"I'm going to write to Bosley Cranston and invite him to join us when we're in Washington next month. I'll tell him he can bring the Gaffney sisters."

"Ah, so not completely altruistic, I've met the lovely sisters," Artie said.

"Artie, what can you possibly be implying?"

His friend simply replied, "That's my boy!"

 _ **The End**_


End file.
